Tuesday, June 17, 2014


Confinement

Based on my colleague's recommendation, i engaged Amy as my confinement nanny.

She arrived on 19th May but I opted to stay 1 more day at the hospital because Jenn has high jaundice level. So I met Amy briefly at the hospital.

On 20th May I went home (without Jenn) and had my first confinement meal (veg, meat, soup, rice). I can't drink plain water so I had longan red date tea as my water supplement for 1 month. I was actually looking forward to be home as I can finally bathe with the herbal bath. It was so gross that I did not bathe at all after the whole labour process. My hair was soooo oily.

Finally Jenn came back on 21st May and I can tell that Amy is very experienced with taking care of baby such as bathing, changing diaper, calming baby down and look out for hunger cues. She knows I want to breastfeed baby but I had engorged breasts and she help me did a massage which was good. She also know how to help baby latch on correctly. 

I am listing down the good and bad that I have experienced with her.

The Good
- Experienced in caring for baby. She has her own methods (whether scientifically proven or old wives tales) in calming baby down when she is hysterical.
- Takes good care of me. Ensure that I am eating well, prepares food for me even in the middle of the night
- She puts baby and my needs before hers. There were a few times she had late lunches and late afternoon naps because baby couldn't settle and I had to eat/bathe.
- Has initiative. Doesn't need constant reminders. She will automatically do things without being asked. Sometimes when you are at a lost or just need an extra hand, she seems to always come at the right time.
- Doesn't bear grudges or react emotionally. I have a bossy MIL who will order her around. Sometimes I can tell that Amy is not happy with the bossiness but she does not react negatively to it.
- Go the extra mile. I recall during the phone conversations with her, she did mention she will only take care of baby and me. If she needs to do additional chores, it will require more $$. However it seems to me she is doing more than agreed. For example, she cooks for my hubby, helps my MIL with cooking, clean/mop the living room floor etc.
- There were 2 occasions that we needed to go to the hospital with baby (1st wk checkup, adhoc jaundice checkup). I was not expecting her to tag along with us but she offered and I'm glad she did. Because she can take care of baby and even help me with managing the nursing cover in the car and ask me to breastfeed baby. She also guide us on what items to pack in the bag when going out.
- She is someone who is willing to share knowledge with us. She understands that I will be taking care of baby all alone after she leaves, as such she taught me many things (bathe baby, washing bottles, heating milk etc)
- Friendly person who will chat with everyone in the family but this may also be a bad point if you do not wish to talk at that time.
- Able to hold baby and assist the hairdresser when shaving off her hair.
- Her attitude on the last day was very good. Able to work around our schedule (Ted and I brought baby out for a drive, Ted sending cakes and pastries to relatives)

*** In general, I think she has fulfilled and done a good job as a confinement nanny, perhaps even exceeding my expectations sometimes.

The Bad
- Cleanliness is poor. There were times that I see coffee stains / longan tea stains on the table top but she doesn't bother cleaning them. I couldn't stand it and had to wipe it myself. Heard from my MIL that she doesnt bother washing the pots well so that are some marks which my MIL say she will clean up after she leaves.
- Use resources as though they are free. The way she use water to wash just 2 bottles break my heart. The water tap runs at full force. When I questioned her, she mentioned that it is more important that the bottles are clean so she use more water. She also uses a lot of gas to cook. I am not sure if that's the norm but i believe our utilities bill will be sky high this month.
- She washes my clothes and hers everyday but I feel that it does not feel fragrant or washed when it was returned. Not sure if it is due to handwashing vs machine wash. Sometimes her clothes smell bad too but I did not voice it out.
- Requested my hubby to buy marble cake for my supper. However I notice that I only ate 2 slices while she finished 5 slices. If it was meant for me, should I be eating most of it?
- As baby jaundice is still there, we requested Amy to sunbathe baby. However for this request, I had to give constant reminders and there were excuses such as there is no sun, or it is raining, there are mosquitoes etc. End up baby sunbathed for 2-3days only. However I noticed that baby skin got darker instead. As a result I did not urge baby to be sunbathed anymore.
- Approaching the last week of the confinement, I felt quite agitated with her whiny complaints. She keep emphasizing on giving baby formula milk instead of breast milk so that baby can sleep for longer periods. I read online that the reason for sleeping for longer periods is because formula milk is synthetic and harder to digest. It is alot of work for that little stomach which is not mature. Of course I didnt tell her what I read online. 

Thereafter the one comment that I got irritated the most was about pacifier. She kept saying baby is not hungry but wants the pacifier. But we did not want to introduce the pacifier to her. So she kept saying it at every feed. For example if baby suckle and stop during breastfeed, she will mention it. During bottle feed when baby did not suckle much, she mention it again. Until today where I got quite irritated with the constant complaint that I mention to her, we did not introduce pacifier to her at all, how can she crave for something that she does not know exist? Then she did not reply me.

One night baby was crying and refusing to sleep, Amy started the pacifier nonsense again. But when I held baby up, I realized that her shirt and swaddle are very damp. It is because the urine has leaked from the diaper. Even the mattress and bedsheet are wet. Of course that's why she is crying! I started changing the diaper and her clothes and she quieten down. So I feel that Amy's mindset of pacifier is clouding her mind of investigating the cause of the problem.

*** In general, I can overlook all her bad points except for the complainy and whiny part. She can advise us on the pacifier / formula but she dont have to repeat it so many times. We are not stupid and we are not deaf. I'm also not sure why she became so long-winded in the final week. I also heard her complaining about my MIL on buying vegetables. I was actually contemplating to give her a $200 angbao for the job well done but due to irritation i am experiencing in the final week, I have cut it to $150.

*** To conclude, if I have a 2nd child I will probably engage her again because I feel the good exceeds the bad. Anyway I'm glad confinement period is over! 

Posted by Angela at 7:21 PM